Spring Clean Your Love Life!

As the temperatures rise and social gatherings move from indoor soirées by the fire to cookouts outside, spring fever for love begins to blossom. But before you can reap the blossoming benefits, it’s critical that you do a “spring cleaning” of your love life. While it is important to ensure that your home is cleaned to spring’s perfection, it is imperative that you execute a personal Spring cleaning of any emotional baggage you may have accumulated. […]

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How’s Your Sexy?

Sexy is a state of intellect and individual freedom confident women have earned!  As women we want and need to be desired. This starts with the personal connection a woman has with herself from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. I like to think that most strong sensual women have the power and ability to be comfortable in their own bodies, giving them the authorization to be open to discovering their own sensuality and sexuality. […]

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Sexual Fusion!

It took a long time to write this article. While the wonderful subject of sex and sensuality should be easy to talk about and share, it’s still taboo in the United States. Sometimes it can be viewed as bad and outright nasty. As I took a few days to think on it, I began to do research on Kama Sutra. Now in my own education, I always thought that Kama Sutra were sexual positions of pleasure. But really it’s more than that – It can deeply connect your partner. […]

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“See the Change, Keep the Hope!”

As not only a woman, but also a black woman, I have to overcome adversity on a regular basis. The other day as I was applying for a summer internship, the director over the program informed me that no African-American had ever applied to the program. This information caused me to pause and wonder, why?

The answer is simple. For years people of color have been oppressed, especially direct descendants from the motherland. Slavery has created an inferiority complex within the race that has haunted us. Even after abolishment, people of color were still not treated and seen as equal through practices such as Jim Crow Laws, lynching, and other forms of racism, thus continuing the cycle of the inferiority mentality. […]

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“Fight for What You Want!”

It was late May and I just returned to the United States after a five month study abroad in Paris, France. Although the experience was unforgettable, it begun to dawn on me how hard it would be to find an internship position for the upcoming summer. I applied for countless positions while abroad; pleading for Skype Interviews and religiously following-up on e-mails sent to various employers, but had no luck, or so I thought. The first night back in America, I laid on my bed and went through the messages that slowly found their way into my voicemail. One by one, I heard various employers greet me with kind salutations and interest in my qualifications. After each message, I heard the cold automatic reminder that the messages were received at least two to three months prior. I could have cried. It was almost June; I had no prospects and absolutely no idea where to look. […]

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“Is Safety an Underestimated Relational Commodity?”

If I were to ask what the single most important aspect of a relationship is, without hesitation I would respond, “safety.” If you were ever the fat kid in school, you know exactly where I am coming from. I lived so much of my life hiding, afraid to just be me. I spent mental and emotional energy simply navigating through relationships, hoping to find a place where I could just breathe and be me. As a kid I never knew what it was like to feel completely safe; safe with my heart, my wounds, my dreams, my failures, and my fears. I allowed people’s approval or disapproval of me to control my actions. Since elementary school, I have struggled with my size. At the age of 21, 4 years ago, I was at an all time high of 350 plus pounds. Since then, I have lost a total of 180 pounds, naturally. Unfortunately, from the age of 7, I lived life where I felt most safe, seeking to just allow my soul to rest. Now, through my weight loss process I’ve learned the beauty of authentic relationships. I’ve learned if I don’t feel safe, then the relationship is not worth it. Now, I ask myself the tough questions: […]

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“The Fairer, The Better: Is Lighter Skin the Black Man’s Complexion of Choice?”

Just the other day I went to support the Broadway play “The Mountaintop” starring Samuel L. Jackson and Angela Bassett. As I sat in the audience, I was entertained by the dynamic acting of the two cast members. Without a doubt, the play was a great success; however, something in particular caught my attention.

In the play, Jackson portrayed Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Angela Bassett played a vivacious, southern maid named Camae. A scene came about where the discussion of King’s wife came up and Camae pondered what Coretta Scott King was like, and more so asking questions about her appearance. These questions led King to confess his “type of woman” declaring he preferred his women like he liked his coffee, “with a little milk and sugar.” This response then prompted Camae to state that she preferred her men to be “dark.” […]

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“Today, I Forgive Others and I Forgive Myself!”

I recently saw the movie “The Kids Are All Right” with Annie Benning and Julianne Moore. The story is about a lesbian couple who were going through challenges with their relationship and the young adult children they were raising. One scene in the movie is quite compelling. Julianne Moore comes clean to her wife and two kids about an affair she had with the children’s biological father, a sperm donor. It was emotional, awkward, uncomfortable, and hurtful. The story ends with the wife having to forgive her wife. Though it took a lot of time, they moved on.

My beau, Michael Moore is an artist, IT executive, and author of 6 novels. In his series of novels, “Thank God for Plan B, Cause Plan A Didn’t Work”, the main character Johnathan comes to a hard reality that he has to forgive and surrender to God. During Johnathan’s childhood, he had a devastating experience. His father requested that his mother not come to his job dressed inappropriately and sexy. She did it anyway. His co-workers leered at her, his father defended her honor, a confrontation arose which led him to be shot in the head, an awful ending. […]

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“A Closer Look!”

“A Productive Relationship is a willingness to learn the art of compromise.”

Humanity has misinterpreted one of our most valuable allies in creation. We have done so by labelingour beautiful earth as violent and untamed. Nature is designed to utilize only what is necessary to sustain itself and is equipped with the intelligence to discern what is necessary for living in harmony with ALL of life’s expressions.

For example, within the animal kingdom the lion consumes what is needed for survival, the fowls rise early to obtain their essentials for the day’s journey, and the honeybee seeks only to absorb what is a requirement for its arduous work pollinating the field. How then have we as human beings managed to override our primordial instincts and create the discomfort that we observe in our relationships? […]

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“I Love My Boss. Correction: I am IN Love with My Boss!”

You know the episode.  Coy and infectious smiles, attentive listening, shared looks and a warm “easygoingness” that has you thinking about every interaction.

‘“You did a great job on the titles project”.   What did he just say? What does that mean?  The exchange is always cordial with an undertone of flirtatiousness. Was that flirting? Or was he just being polite and complimentary?

When he came around my desk to get a better look at what I was referring to on my computer screen during our discussion, I wondered did he
want to be close to me or just get a closer look at the monitor?  I’m not sure but he sure smells good!’

You think your boss is the hottest, “perfect” man.  He’s charismatic, smart, handsome and well dressed.  He exudes confidence, good wit, and everyone goes to him for everything.

He smiles and you are in awe of how one person’s smile could just light up a room or a mood.  Or your heart for that matter.  You actually look forward to going to work now.  Sort of.  […]

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